welcome back.. maybe it's been a while.. here is a poor collection of my thoughts:
i've been reluctant on feeling that i've found somewhere that i finally feel that i belong because
really, do i belong anywhere? i don't know. but certain people have done a great job in making me feel.. welcomed.
i still cry about the failure of my previous connections. it just always hurts to remember that no matter how
deeply you feel and care for another, it won't always be reciprocated. i suppose that's life.

there will always be a part of me that wishes to fall into the promises of what i believe are to be sweet nothings.
i still have certain words and memories that have carved their way into my skull and there they echo.
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The sun seeps its rays through the window blinds. They plaster themselves onto the wall I stare at during nights..
I count each stripe that separates the blocks of light. The room is blue- everyday it seems as if I choose to wake up in melancholy.
Perhaps I do.
I wake up to more bruises that I have no desire to ponder the explanations of.
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In your own oasis of intoxication and delusion, you can't remember if that was the sixth or seventh sunset.
How is it that you believe you are so worthy of love yet at the same time undeserving of the love you desire?
The void continues to grow but you reassure yourself that at least something apart of you is developing.